so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
