So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
