Dual....:-)
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
