dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
