Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
