Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
