What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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