i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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