My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
