the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize