its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
