There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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