ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
