We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
