My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
