Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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