i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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