One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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