whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
