Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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