Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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