this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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