just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
