Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
