Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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