did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You can't special order awesome
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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