just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
