What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
