the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
