I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
