Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize