I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
