Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
