Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
