you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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