and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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