No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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