just tell him i said nine months
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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