After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
