he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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