so explain again why im purple
no
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
