Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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