I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
