Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
