im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
