If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
