oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
