I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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