did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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