I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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