when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
