Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
