The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
